Destruction of a life, career, a mind and a bright shining flower withers away. That is what break-ups do most of the times. The trauma of a break-up becomes impossible to bear for many and they suffer over a very long period. They are bewildered with what happened. They simply cannot believe it. They are stunned and that feeling of disbelief and the knock of the break-up hurts so badly that some lose their mental stability.

Let us not go into why the break-ups occur. But if a person suffers so much after a break-up as we described above then obviously he/she was cheated by the partner into the belief that he/she was a ideal person deserving all the love and devotion. But the reality was different. That person was dishonest, without integrity and deserved no love from a honest person. That person was cruel and mean-minded and came in to a life only to destroy it forever.

What can be done by the suffering party? As we said the shock is very big at times and the person cannot believe that he/she did it. For him/her the ex-partner was the best human being going around. An example of truth, honesty, integrity and love. So the first thing to accept and realize is that you were cheated by someone who was deceptive. You were wrong in your thinking that the other person was honest and trust worthy. You were fooled. This will be very difficult to do, but has to be done. No amount of grief will help unless you first accept that – You were a fool. You gave your love and devotion to a person who was totally undeserving. You could not understand it. You failed.

After the break-up, it is not only the shock of having been dumped, but also the loss of love that hurts badly. You loved that person with all your might. You took care to see that you gave every comfort and total trust to that person. You might have even sacrificed many precious relationships and career in your love. And the memories of time shared together. That lingers. They hurt. Everything hurts.

First please accept that you were fooled by someone who was a cheat. Repeat it in your mind as many times as you can. Whenever you feel like grieving, do it. When the memories of earlier shared moments come to haunt you, relive them, but at the end repeat that- You were fooled by someone totally untrustworthy. Accept that fact and your recovery may become a real possibility after a bad break-up.

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