People in romantic love invariably decide to marry unless there are some other overriding factors. Many of these marriages become unhappy marriages after sometime and can result in divorce. Why does this happen? Two people in love with each other decide to live together and spend a married life full of bliss. But that may not be the result. Why? There may be some factors they may not have thought of, before getting married. Let us find out.

Till two lovers enjoying the bliss of romantic love don’t marry, they don’t think about the life that will follow after the marriage. Career, change of careers, change of city for career growth, children, their education, income, expenditure, savings, household chores, holidays, and so on. These factors come into play after the marriage. Every decision will not have the approval of both husband-wife, so a lot of give and take is done, and that may also result into feelings of disenchantment, bitterness and having been let down. These feelings slowly build up in both the partners and unless resolved quickly will burst one day resulting into a big fight and application to the divorce court. Blames are exchanged and it is disbelief from both the sides about how the person has changed after the marriage. Nothing of that sort might have happened, but bad communication and misunderstandings can cause havoc.

What is the way out of this situation? How to avoid this happening. The first step should be to talk about every change that will occur after marriage and arrive at a broad understanding. Many couples avoid doing this, worrying that such talk will hurt their romance and hope that somehow things will work out because they have great love for each other. Yes, love may take care of many discords, but why leave this to chance. Better to talk everything out in as much detail as possible. This talk will make both the partners aware about each others thoughts on many crucial issues, and also help them decide whether to marry at all. For example, if during the pre-marriage talk they find that their views about something important as children is totally opposite to each other, they may decide not to marry at all.

The other solution to such discord after marriage is to sit together and state each others position. If love and care for each other is not killed totally, this talk will help even after the arrival of the crisis. Otherwise they will either have to live with perpetual discord or separate. If the thought of this causes more pain than sacrifice needed to live happily, better do that. Life was never simple and it will never be simple. Every new day brings new challenges and new joys. It is for us to overcome the challenges and enjoy life as much as we can.

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