‘In many relationships, one partner acts as a pet of the other. How does a pet act? A pet is totally loyal. The main work of a pet is to give joy to the owner. The pet can be hit by the owner in rage, but the pet returns. The pet has no personal desires. Its only expectation is getting love from the owner and being with the owner.

In some rare relationships, a partner gets so immersed in love with the other that he/she becomes the other’s pet. ‘I live for you. I live to make you happy. I think of different ways to make you happy. Your every wish is command for me. You can hit me, but I will return to you.’ This happens. The pet gets hit and returns. The owner hits the pet again and he/she will return.

Are you imagining the kind of relationship that is being talked about? ‘I fell in love with you so much, that I give up my every desire for you. It is your duty to care for me and never make me unhappy or hurt me. Why are you hitting me? What do you want? Tell me, why are hitting me? Tell me what you want and I will do that.’ But such requests do not work. The sadist tendencies of the owner do not allow that. The master here knows about the control they exercise. So instead of giving care and love, they give kicks.

What is the remedy? Unless you want to suffer immeasurably in such a relationship, hit them back so that it hurts. Not any physical hitting. Verbal hits can inflict much greater injuries. Don’t sit back and keep on getting hit in return for all the love. Hit back and get out.

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