‘You love him. You want him. You have tried to tell him, so many times, in different ways that you love him as much as you did in the beginning. Only he does not respond. And whenever he responds, he hurts you. Because you love him so much, and you value the close relation you shared, you feel very sad that he has changed much. You ultimately feel very unhappy. His selfishness will hurt you more, because once he was a decent person. Some where that decency must lurk. Now what should you do?’ The previous scene can be visualized by him, instead of her.

This is not a very common scenario, but quite common amongst couples, when one partner suddenly changes and stops responding to love. One partner decides to change the rules of the game and hurts the other partner. Makes him/her plead and then leaves him/her alone. If you are facing this situation, lets see what can be done.

The first step is acceptance that the other partner no longer loves you. It may sound unbelievable to you after many years of close relationship, but accept this truth. The second step is to stop hurting yourself. Don’t hurt yourself by revisiting what all you got for your love. The hurt will make you feel very sad. The third step is to look for someone who understands you right from day one. After separation, when you rejoin the dating scene, try to look for someone who will play on a level field with you. Till you get that person, focus on all your positive qualities and devote your time to do, what you could not because you were spending that time in loving your earlier partner.

If you feel that, you will not get a partner of your choice, or are afraid of getting hurt again, don’t become vulnerable. Let the journey go on alone.

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